Coming Home

Ever have one of those days when you come crawling back to the feet of God out of desperation, not because you need or want something, but because you realize how you can't live without Him? Yah, I definitely had that kind of morning. I woke up early and couldn't go back to sleep, so I decided it might be a good time to journal and spend some time in the Word. It had actually been awhile since I had the opportunity - no, since I chose to create an opportunity to just sit and be with my Maker. As usual, after a time period of allowing life to get the best of me and losing sight of priorities, I had a sense of almost reluctancey to start anew. I don't know if this ever happens to you, but when I don't walk hand in hand with Jesus every day, I tend to wander off into some distant part of another forest where the light becomes dimmer with each step,and I am thinking all the while how incredibly capable I am on my own. Then when I realize how lost I have become and how critical it is for me to come home, a huge wave of shame overwhelms me and my feet become lead weights as I turn around and try to head back. Well, I sat down this morning in my favorite chair and took as much time as I could writing about what has been happening to and around me these past few weeks. Finally, when I could barely feel my fingers any longer, I decided it was probably time to go ahead and talk to Him. He had been waiting long enough...so I started with a simple prayer. I said, "Father, I am so sorry that you have not been my first love these past few weeks. I have realized that I can't do life without you, that I need you every single moment of every single day. But I am scared. I am scared that you don't love me as much as you used to in Africa. Will you use your Word to tell me otherwise. I need your truth this morning." And immediately, I opened my Bible to the Daily Bread devotion of the day: 1 John 3:16-23. However, it was verses 19-20 that pretty much turned my world upside down. It reads,

"This then is how we know that we belong to the Truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything."

Wait a minute...so what You're saying is that when my heart tells me I am not good enough, or that I have fallen too far off the deep end to ever even think about breathing fresh air again, that it is wrong? Is it possible  that You are greater than my deepest fears and my darkest stains. Could it be that no matter what lies the enemy tries and whispers in my ear, Your truth is still the only truth? What a revolutionary concept!

See, it is not God who condemns us or turns us away when we have sinned, but it is our own disbelieving spirit. We forget that thousands of years ago, Jesus Christ came not just to take our transgressions but to forever annihilate our shame as well. So no matter how far you have strayed- 1 step or a 1000, His love covers a million more. Be encouraged today, friends, and find the courage to turn back. I promise you it will be worth it. Like the Parable of the Prodigal Son, before you can even get the words of apology out of your mouth, the Father will be weeping over you with joy at your return. You are a CHILD of the Kingdom, it is time to come back and take your place. I did, and I am loving it :)

Always,
A Hungry Heart